The words above have kept me from losing control. The following scriptures have been my hope and strength.
7 But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.
8 Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness,
the LORD will be my light. (micah 7:7-8)
I am sure you are wondering, "what in the world is she talking about?" Well, last Friday my husband was told that his last day of work would be March 18. Why? Because he "makes to much money" and they need to cutback the workforce to save money. My reaction to the news: Shocked? Yes! Mad! Yes! Angry? Yes!
My first thought was, "How could this happen? You have been there for almost four years. You are suppose to have a job which is secure. They promised you job security. Why did they do this to you? WHY!!!!!!!
Tears started rolling down my face. I thought, "Lord I can not go through this again. The last time my husband lost his job, we lost our home. We almost got divorced from all of the financial pressures. Now, just when things are beginning to look up for us, the bottom falls out once again.
I am not strong enough to go through this again! I am not strong enough to keep my husband encouraged and uplifted!!! Lord!!!!
I DO NOT HAVE THE STRENGTH FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh Lord, what are we going to do? I just sat there after my screaming fit and just cried. My husband tried his best to hold back his tears, but they came anyway. Then I began to get upset with myself. I am suppose to be encouraging and helping my husband. Yet, I am being selfish. I am not thinking about what this is doing to him as a man of God first, my husband second and a father third. I apologized to him for being so selfish. I apologized for not thinking of him.
I thought, "I have got to be strong. I have got to be strong. Lord, you have to help me to be strong here. I can not do this on my own. I need you". I opened up my Bible and Micah 7:7,8 was the first scriptures I read. I read them over and over and over again. Then I thought to myself, "how could I have put my trust in man? Doesn't your word say not to place my hope and trust in man? Psalm 118:8 tells me,"It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man." How could I have done this? Lord forgive me for not placing my hope and trust in you. I have sinned against you and only you in placing my trust in my husbands employers and not in you. I said these words over and over and over. God please forgive me.
Now, all I can do is put my hope and trust in God. He is all I have. All I can do is place all my hope and trust in Him. All I can do is wait patiently for Him. All I can do is to, "look unto the hills which comes my help."He is the One I am clinging to right now. The storms of life are raging all around my family, but our hope is in the Living God. All we can do is wait for this storm to pass. I know in my heart, "this too shall pass." I know that in the midst of this darkness, my God is shining bright.
Psalm 18:1-3
1 I love you, O LORD, my strength. 2 The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. 3 I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies.
Be Blessed!
(all scripture from the New International Version Bible)
